Before you proceed in reading this entry, I must warn you that this is dramatic.
It all started because I have this friend at work. We were okay not until I was confused by certain events. Well, he said "gusto kita" which was fine because I'm not boasting or anything but it happened like a hundred times already.
The policy that I have "pag tropa, tropa. walang talo talo."
The mess started when he suddenly ask me things and one that really blew my fuse was this - "Mahal mo ba ko?" Now how did we get there? He was actually inviting me to go out with friends to drink or something with him inviting some girl. I said, "Why are you asking permission? I do not owe you." I also said that I'm not gonna go because it's gonna be awkward. Not the mention, I was the one with him when we were out and then the next thing he's gonna get someone to go with us. I don't have any to right but that particular place that he mentioned that we were going to was a little bit special.
I have always been picky with friends and I have but a few precious ones.
I admit I value him. He's one of them.
And i don't just go and tag along with whom ever that invites me. And then he assumed and asked that stupid question which was useless to answer. As I recall, I did not show any action or signs that I love him. I'm always fair. What you see is what you get. I've always been sweet. For those who knew me, they know that I'm one of the boys. I always get the rumor that whoever sticks with me is my bf. I always shrug that off.
Since he asked that particular question I had to ask "Ano ba ko sayo?". Even if a guy said that he liked me I would never assume. I would always act like he said nothing like that. Be normal. I wanted to know simply because I wanna know my place.
He answered with a very stupid answer - "Di ko alam". It's unacceptable.
I started to change. I did not talk to him and pretend like he was air.
I know he didn't want me to loose me as a friend because as he said I'm the only one close to him. We would always wait for each other then set up computer together. Share food and drink. Laugh. Throw jokes. People would always tease us. That's how we were. That's the picture.
When I asked my place, he couldn't answer it directly. He would always avoid or have it answered indirectly, incomplete. Unclear. Since, I couldn't get the answer that I wanted. I had to end it and said that there's a lot of people specifically girls that he can replace me with. And he said another thing that not only blew my fuse but made me really angry. He said that there were "No physical contact" with those girls. I'm like "Hindi ako bagay na pwede mo nalang idisplay at hawak hawakan kung kelan mo gusto. Nasasaktan din naman ako." I'm human and I have a heart. Although I look tough, of course I get hurt.
And the last thing that really ended this was "Tang ina ka pala eh. Alam ko bang magiging close tayo? Ginusto ko ba to?" That was it. Finishing line.
For the one's that I've talked with, they know that I did my part. I tried to save what he have. The worst part of it all, we are team mates. So yeah, it's hard for the both of us. Nobody won. We both loose. There was no give and take. There was no compromise. There was no agreement.
He owes me an apology because I value respect. Sure. He can always act like that with his parents, other friends, girl friends or whatever but I'm different. It's true that I should accept him for what he is because I met him he's like that already but I can't adjust for him. That's not always the case. I can't change for someone so that I can make them happy neither will he do. I'm just gonna let it go.
The one thing that really frustrates me the most with this issue is that He chose pride over friendship. It's pathetic. He said that I don't know him but I can see right through him. I can read what he feels even If he would put up a smile. He already opened himself to me. Funny things is, he can't read me.
I've always been alone.
Even if, I don't have friends at work I can function. Professionalism.
Pride always kept me going but I know that it can be my downfall that's why when I hold on to that I know I'm right.
Like I said I'm upset but my world is not going to stop for him.
I'm gonna get over it because it's already over.
I'm gonna move on after this entry.
Goodbye friend. Nice meeting you.
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
- Lyrics from What hurts the most by Rascal Flatts
lots,
mapi
It all started because I have this friend at work. We were okay not until I was confused by certain events. Well, he said "gusto kita" which was fine because I'm not boasting or anything but it happened like a hundred times already.
The policy that I have "pag tropa, tropa. walang talo talo."
The mess started when he suddenly ask me things and one that really blew my fuse was this - "Mahal mo ba ko?" Now how did we get there? He was actually inviting me to go out with friends to drink or something with him inviting some girl. I said, "Why are you asking permission? I do not owe you." I also said that I'm not gonna go because it's gonna be awkward. Not the mention, I was the one with him when we were out and then the next thing he's gonna get someone to go with us. I don't have any to right but that particular place that he mentioned that we were going to was a little bit special.
I have always been picky with friends and I have but a few precious ones.
I admit I value him. He's one of them.
And i don't just go and tag along with whom ever that invites me. And then he assumed and asked that stupid question which was useless to answer. As I recall, I did not show any action or signs that I love him. I'm always fair. What you see is what you get. I've always been sweet. For those who knew me, they know that I'm one of the boys. I always get the rumor that whoever sticks with me is my bf. I always shrug that off.
Since he asked that particular question I had to ask "Ano ba ko sayo?". Even if a guy said that he liked me I would never assume. I would always act like he said nothing like that. Be normal. I wanted to know simply because I wanna know my place.
He answered with a very stupid answer - "Di ko alam". It's unacceptable.
I started to change. I did not talk to him and pretend like he was air.
I know he didn't want me to loose me as a friend because as he said I'm the only one close to him. We would always wait for each other then set up computer together. Share food and drink. Laugh. Throw jokes. People would always tease us. That's how we were. That's the picture.
When I asked my place, he couldn't answer it directly. He would always avoid or have it answered indirectly, incomplete. Unclear. Since, I couldn't get the answer that I wanted. I had to end it and said that there's a lot of people specifically girls that he can replace me with. And he said another thing that not only blew my fuse but made me really angry. He said that there were "No physical contact" with those girls. I'm like "Hindi ako bagay na pwede mo nalang idisplay at hawak hawakan kung kelan mo gusto. Nasasaktan din naman ako." I'm human and I have a heart. Although I look tough, of course I get hurt.
And the last thing that really ended this was "Tang ina ka pala eh. Alam ko bang magiging close tayo? Ginusto ko ba to?" That was it. Finishing line.
For the one's that I've talked with, they know that I did my part. I tried to save what he have. The worst part of it all, we are team mates. So yeah, it's hard for the both of us. Nobody won. We both loose. There was no give and take. There was no compromise. There was no agreement.
He owes me an apology because I value respect. Sure. He can always act like that with his parents, other friends, girl friends or whatever but I'm different. It's true that I should accept him for what he is because I met him he's like that already but I can't adjust for him. That's not always the case. I can't change for someone so that I can make them happy neither will he do. I'm just gonna let it go.
The one thing that really frustrates me the most with this issue is that He chose pride over friendship. It's pathetic. He said that I don't know him but I can see right through him. I can read what he feels even If he would put up a smile. He already opened himself to me. Funny things is, he can't read me.
I've always been alone.
Even if, I don't have friends at work I can function. Professionalism.
Pride always kept me going but I know that it can be my downfall that's why when I hold on to that I know I'm right.
Like I said I'm upset but my world is not going to stop for him.
I'm gonna get over it because it's already over.
I'm gonna move on after this entry.
Goodbye friend. Nice meeting you.
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
- Lyrics from What hurts the most by Rascal Flatts
lots,
mapi
No comments:
Post a Comment